I’ll help you get that promotion (but I can’t get my kids off the couch)
I haven’t gone back and read any of these entries, and I can’t help but wonder...do they suck? Are they utterly boring? Does the sequence of events make any sense? Could I take a moment now to go back and re-read what was written to calm my anxiety? Sure...but I won’t. Let me not spoil the final read T minus...what is it, 9 months from now? No wait. 8.5 months. DAMN! In this moment, I want to give myself grace and extend the deadline, but like this journal so far...it is what it is. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, after reading this you can go back and read my last blog called “My 7 Figure Goal".
Okay preamble is over, what am I here to talk about now? Shit...I’ve literally forgotten. I was inspired...I said let me make tea before I write...I said I have 30 minutes before I have to go pick up the kids from school...I arranged for a hike; I rescheduled an appointment that was about to interfere with said hike....ugh!! Give me a moment...RIGHT! The children (insert side eye emoji here).
Alright so something has been bothering me at my core. To the point where I’ve had to really evaluate how much of this energy do I need to be carrying. When can I put up a boundary to say, I’ve done everything that I can do, and this is no longer my problem? Do you ever really get to that point when it comes to your own kids? The people who you brought into this earth (by your choice, not theirs) to guide and protect?
So much for enough preamble. Get on with it Lauren!
So, I am a Certified Personal & Business Performance Coach. I am a highly regarded and respected person in the realm of leadership and mentorship. I inspire and empower people on a daily basis to think bigger for themselves and become motivated to take action in order to BE bigger for themselves...but my kids...well they can’t seem to find their thing. Ten and twelve years old and there’s nothing that they are into. They might like something for a minute, until it becomes effort. Then they are OUT!
I listen, I coach, I read books, I assign books, I give autonomy, I ask questions. Chris and I will sign them up for anything they ever utter an interest in. You want to do archery? BAM! Bows and arrows with all the accessories in your face! You want to start a business selling crafty water bottles! NO PROBLEM! All the materials right on your doorstep. But let’s face it...no matter what it is, it fails to earn a percentage of attention greater than YouTube, Roblox or TikTok. FAAAK!
The last thing I want to do is start forcing them into shit they don’t want to do like tennis lessons 5 days a week (I’m afraid to watch King Richard for this very reason), or gymnastics again for a third time. Been there, done that and it’s a miserable existence...for all of us. But what options are they leaving us with? If we don’t make a plan for them...they don’t make a single plan for themselves. And this isn’t a California thing (because then I would understand). This was going on in Canada too.
Am I being too hard on them? Are they too young to take a sincere interest in something...anything? I really don’t know but it’s hard to feel that way when you hear about so many kids on teams, or starting businesses, or whatever. It’s as if I’m not disappointed in the ten- and twelve-year-old versions of them, but more like the twenty- and twenty-two-year-old versions of them who aren’t any different. More accurately, I’m disappointed in the fact that between Chris and I, two open, successful, strong, caring and nurturing parents, we are struggling to inspire excellence in our children. Moreso, my ego is taking a hit because I’M SUPPOSED TO BE GREAT AT THIS!!
Okay now let me give credit where credit is due. They are great in school. Like really great. Excellent academic and behavioral marks. So, ambition and desire exist in their bodies, but apparently only between the hours of 8:30 am and 3:30 pm. After that...meh!
Maybe it’s because we are coming out of the pandemic, but I’m drained from it all. I don’t have the energy to figure out their lives, especially when I don’t feel like they are leaning in when I know they CAN lean in. If you can Google your way to the perfect slime recipe, you can surely find programs or classes that interest you. Parenting is all about navigating that very fine line between nurturing and enabling. I know I need to back down, but so fearful of what “you’re on your own!” will do.
So, I did all that know how to do in these moments of frustration and loss. I sat them down and pretty much said word for word everything I’ve written in this blog. Not in a “look what you’re doing to your mother!” feel guilty kind of way, but in a “help me help you help me!” kind of way. It even got to a breaking point this weekend when I had the opportunity to back off and coddle. But I stood my ground determined that if these children were going to leave this tough conversation with anything, it would be accountability.
Now, here’s the thing reader...a switch is happening. I almost don’t want to jynx it...which is a crazy thing to say because I don’t believe in that stuff. Said differently, I don’t want to count the chickens before they hatch (that wasn’t any better lol). Just last night, Kairo said he was setting his alarm for 6:45 am so that he could meditate, make breakfast and read before school....and then this morning...he did it (I’m publishing this blog 7 days later and he’s still doing it). He even started writing a short story based on planets or something at war...I need a diagram to understand it...but it was something. It was initiative! My daughter even went ahead and emailed a horseback riding camp to arrange a time when we could go and check it out with her.
I hope this is a switch and I’m battling between observing quietly and jumping all over it with accountability calendars, and meditation apps, etc. Maybe it’s our constant over excitement that makes their journey feel less like their own; thus, makes it more of a chore than something they want to pour themselves into. Is less attention the answer?
So reader, I’m bringing all the things I know work in leadership and coaching into my children’s lives now. It’s tough because I’m more invested in them than anyone else in the world...but I’m going to trust that what they have observed will come to fruition in its own way on its own timeline.
Until maybe later this evening when I give up on this theory, finally watch King Richard and sign them up for tennis camp...lol. We will see.
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